Ganondorf's Diary Part 2

Link is in Rehab
Again
But everybody still likes
Him
Better than
Me
Even though
I didn't get high
And @%&! up Hyrule Castle.
It's not
Fair
I hate him.
And Hyrule.
And Everybody.
And Me.

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I hate my Life
Because every time I try to conquer Hyrule
I Fail
And Link gets to beat me up
But I can't file
Assault charges because he's the
Hero of Time
And has diplomatic immunity
Or Something.

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My Soul
Is like a Fairy
Without it's wings.
It just sits there.
And dies.

-----

Sometimes I feel Ugly.
Normally it's when Link says that
I'm Ugly.
It makes my soul
Hurt
And it makes me want to dye my hair
Black.
And wear Black Clothes.
And Guyliner.
But my Tears
Would smudge
My Makeup.

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Today I went to a bar to get Juice
Because I don't drink
Because I am allergic to wheat
And Wheat is in Beer.
Or so I have been told.
But I got kicked out
And they said
They didn't serve my Kind
There.
I think it's because
I'm Ginger
And people like me are
Discriminated Against
By blondes.
Like Link.

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